The absurdity of traffic school

Traffic school has it's purpose, but when the information provided is faulty and the financial profits are from instilling doubt, it becomes absurd.

Recently someone I know was ticketed for an illegal left turn. Sure it was illegal, but they had to go to the bathroom very badly, and it didn't cause any interference with traffic, whatsoever. Hence the reason for turn being illegal at that particular intersection. Regardless, the driver was at fault.

But since it wasn't close to home, the traffic school option was chosen. $264 for the fine, then a choice of 13 online traffic schools and one video school . Thirteen. Really. As if they don't all share the same server? At least the fee was only $34.95.

Taking the course online in a 2 to 4 hour period depending upon your reading speed and knowledge is far better than taking an entire Saturday to be bored to death. But there were some hilarious, dangerous and outrageous "tips" and "facts" that need to be exposed and revised.

There was suggestion that just before an accident, one should duck and avoid the steering wheel. Guess what happens when you duck? Your seatbelt no longer works properly for your upper body. The steering wheel is meant to collapse and most have airbags nowadays. Can you keep applying your brakes when you duck? This is real idiocy.

Brake failure can occur during prolonged use. This is ridiculous. Apparently we all drive big rigs on steep grades or are doing triple digits going into turn 2 at Laguna Seca in economy cars. Unless you're doing hot laps in a 1980s era Oldsmobile or your car needs serious attention, brake failure isn't happening. Period.

It was suggested to draft other cars during periods of high winds. My goodness this isn't NASCAR! High winds will mean debris will be blowing around. That means you better increase your following distance because that car in front of you is more likely to hit it's brakes to avoid something blowing across the road. And hit them hard.

Essentially contradicting itself, braking distances are listed as 106ft from 35mph and 228ft from 55mph. This is not the 1950s. 228ft is a horrible number for 70mph and and 106ft is more like a 50mph stop. Check out how quickly modern cars stop from 60mph and 80mph here. What about old cars? Well here are some comparisons of the "best stoppers" going as far back as the 1970s. Keep in mind these cars were not ABS equipped, had sub par tires by modern standards and rear drum brakes. Looking at this data, there is definitely a scare factor figured in.

Another statement was children shouldn't be in the front seat because of risk of suffocation when the air bag is inflated. Look, unless there is rash of suffocations from children sleeping or reading under their bedsheets, this is liability hype. Airbags stay inflated for a fraction of a second and if somehow it was in front of your nose, it gently drapes. It doesn't seal itself to your face, blocking your nose and mouth. In fact, when I was a passenger it reminded me of billowing satin pillow. I'm serious. Small children don't belong in the front seat but let's not spread rumors.

There was a mention of a designated driver is defined when there is two are more people. Really? Also, don't park facing against traffic on a two-way street, okay?

Finally, your completed test must be submitted to the county. The strategy here to get more money from you is to feed the fear of doubt that you'll even receive the completion certificate. So of course the optional fees are introduced to expedite it to you. Then when you receive the certificate of completion and have to forward it (why is there an extra step?), the concern of whether or not it will get lost in the mail and by the county surfaces. Needless to say, you start to worry about having a suspended license, being in contempt of court, having a warrant issue and being dragged kicking and screaming from your desk at work by the S.W.A.T. team and getting tossed in the slammer, never to be heard from again. Well, a minor exaggeration but you get the point.

In my next article I'll list some things that traffic school should teach.